Dedicated to a frnd whom I've knwn for most of ma 21 yrs...

My eyes r burning its midnyt n am sleepy..Bt I hav to write nw coz am kinda confused...kinda pain n d heart thng.... some uneasiness....Nd I want some rest!! So am writting nooooooo typing!! he he..[;)] C even whn thngs r wrng am tryin to laugh or atleast tryin to laugh at myself!!

I cudnt talk abt hw I felt today talkin to her 'abt her personal lyf' to nybody so I end up writing...Actually I startd liking tis... writting wateva tat comes to my mind wateva i feel lik writting...Am learnin to pour-out ma soul...(stil nt to any othr soul bt in dis blog...i juz dnt care if its online!! I juz dnt care atleast i think so...) Bt i havent found a goddam soul I can really talk to. I mean talk nytin n evrytin tat comes to ma mind nytin tat i feel rite nw...nt even to sumbody i really love r to sumbody I ve knwn for yrs!!:( (tats d bitterest part!!) Let t b, am here to write abt a frnd f mine, her miseries nt mine(atleast nt for nw!! I juz cnt do t rite nw!! Am helpless:(:( ) Mayb...!

Could nybody xplain wat LOVE actually is? Hw a relationship shud b?? I tried doin t..bt all in vain..(I do think am a genius at times, ain't I? Hw foolish of me??:);))I tried counselling her.I tried doin t sometime in d morning 11 o clock r so till my lunchtime sum hours togethr. I tried hard I really did. I swear I did. I tld her 'he s nt d rite one for u dear gal..U ll nly end up hurting urself'' n thngs lik hw a relatnshp shud b. Bt stil i gt a reply

' Its ok. Its all my fault n I don regret it.I neva really had!!'

I cudnt take t. OMG watta gal..tryin to hurt herself for sum1 who ditched her...I gt confused atleast I was angry. Aftrall am counselling her and she gt to listen to me isn't t.[:(]

She said 'He s my only LOVE n wil b foreva. I'd wait til he comes back to me or I'll end up killing myself. I hav no other go.'

I thot she must b foolish!! Kill herself for sum1 who treats her like a shit!! for wat hell shud she???(confusd again!!)Me getting into tis scolding process and advising her n things...!!we always r genius n advising others n giving them ideas (Hw much does all tat really work for us. I mean n our own lives all our gr8 advices n ideas!!) n telling them wat they shud b doin at times of crisis!! Everytin we say is rite for us at d moment n we expect the other person to listen to us!(We do dnt we??)

I tried ma best to convince her bt she was adamant(nt really....kinda!! Actually she s such a vulnerable person...She breaks dwn quickly!!:( Nd am unable to help her. Tat really akes me feel bad abt myself duno y!!).

Again she says all she wants is HIM!! She prayed for him to come back to her n undstand her...!! Finally all I cud do s...I juz blurtd out..Let God answr ur prayers bt for nw dear frnd promise me ur nt running into any stupid conclusions for nw..try to move fwd..better try to get the hell outta here. Try gettting a job or pursue higher studies n move away frm tis place..a change of place n TIME cud help u..soothe u..I wish so...

Its damn painful to c sumbody we really like suffering..Atleast its hard for me...I cnt take t nymore..I really hate t when I feel ur pain(U knw tats d real reason for sumtimes I avoid talkin to u !![:(] ) I really hate t when I see ur eyes filled wid tears!! It hurts.... it really does!!I really hate myself when u say,'Krithi, I wish u were hear wid me. I wud hav cried on ur shoulders. I want u here'...Tat moment I cudnt hide my tears...!!Y cudnt I help u...Y dnt I hav d powers to change ur world...Is nt there nytin I cud do?? I really dunno...

Even I wish U were here...

I wish things were the way it used to be..

Atleast I wish we never grewup bt stayd d way we were...Little, fragile, yet happy all d way...

No responsibilities...No commitments..No miseries...No fears..No tears...