Any art of any form always has the power to fill you with an unknown peace and happiness. So is the joy that I am filled with whenever I touch, I play the veena. Though am no expert yet but just a student who has made her start and learning the art with so much passion, I'd like to be one someday. I’ve always felt bad that I din’t have a chance to learn any performing art since childhood and always thought that I’ve wasted a good part of my life. But now is the time am happy abt myself learning to play this ancient string-instrument. This beautiful instrument has become the love of my life these days and I wish I had more time to spend on learning the art. Veena, Violin, Sitar are really wonderful string instruments but are losing their importance since even girls these days wish to take up guitar or keyboard lessons only. I wish I could learn to play all of them and also to train myself in Hindustani classical but the only constraint seems to be time. I wish I had made these decisions earlier. Anyway its better late than never. Lot of other things are also on my mind these days. Interior designing and home furnishing or landscape architecture. Oh well I can hear u question, then why the hell did u graduate in IT?? Yeah I know like many others I was scared to pursue my dreams and took up the path traveled by everyone. That doesn’t mean I don’t love my job. I just love multi-tasking. The point is I need the resources, the time and a more formulated strategical planning to pursue everything am dreaming of. All the more true support is needed. Hoping for one and looking around. This post was meant to be something but ended up being something else as usual. This post is no hopeless ranting like some other previous ones but is the incoherent listing of my dreams that will be taken up and pursued someday, somehow in future.

Nadodigal...

Happened to watch this movie and it was jus wonderful!! Everybody's characterisation was too good. And Sasi is just awesome ! So is Vijay and the other friend. The girl who has played the character of Sasi's sister Pavithra is deaf and dumb I heard . Watta gal, watta performance , watta lip syn! Awesome cast! A must watch for all youngsters. Samudhrakani , the director of the movie, I hope will go places!

Twitter....micro-blogging...

Krithi s twittering frm 2day:)
Bored of tis Orkut yaar....!
Facebook is kinda ok but still nt ma type..
Wat abt Myspace ppl???
Is anybody networking thr?? Hw s t??

Ten characteristics of a successful relationship

I read this article and liked it kinda... So am posting it here..
Lisa Brookes Kift is a Marriage & Family Therapist working with individuals and couples in San Diego, California. She is also the author of other articles on relationships and mental health issues. This article is written by her. She talks about ten characteristics of a really good and healthy relationships.

The ten characteristics are as follows and are in no particular order:

1) Friendship: Couples who have a strong friendship have staying power. They not only love each other but genuinely like each other as people. They enjoy hanging out together. They might even consider each other their “best friend.”

2) Humor: Partners who can make each other laugh tend to be good at de-escalating conflicts when they do arise. It’s the great mood lightener. I’ve noticed the use of funny nicknames can be an indicator of great fondness for one another. The names often stem from a “you had to be there” moment from the beginning of their relationship.

3) Communication: As obvious as this may seem, many couples are not very good at it. Those who are able to openly express their feelings in an emotionally safe environment typically deal with situations as they come up and avoid burying frustrations which always have a way of coming out at some point.

4) Chore Sharing: Those who divvy up the household or parenting responsibilities in a way that is mutually agreed upon way are less likely to hold resentments about what they perceive as “unfair.” Each participates (albeit maybe begrudgingly) and both contribute to the relationship in this way.

5) Sexual Intimacy: Couples who have their sexual needs met or at least have negotiated a reasonable compromise if their levels of need aren’t compatible, feel taken care of by the other. Some are highly active, engaging in lovemaking multiple times a week and others are content with far less. There is no “right” or “wrong” amount. However, often times a negotiation is needed to make sure no one feels neglected by the other.

6) Affection: Partners who stay in physical contact in some way throughout the day have appeared to be the happiest ones. These moments don’t need to necessarily lead to sexual intimacy but are rather easy ways to say, “I love you,” without the words. These moments can be invaluable, especially these days when everyone seems to be racing around to get “somewhere.” Whether it’s a hug, kiss, swat on the rear, tussle of the hair or a sit on the lap, these acts of affection keep couples connected when life gets crazy.

7) No “Horsemen of the Apocalypse:” This is a term coined by a famous couples researcher named John Gottman (The Gottman Institute -) who claims to be able to predict divorce with incredible accuracy. His “four horsemen of the apocalypse” are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. His research has shown that couples who demonstrate a high level of these in their relationships are in big trouble.

8) Mutual and Separate Friends: Partners who socialize with other couples and also maintain separate friendships have greater balance in regards to honoring themselves as individuals, within the relationship. This leads to more self satisfaction which translates to relationship satisfaction.

9) Reliability: Most of us want follow-through with our friendships and our partners. If couples do what they say and say what they do, they create an atmosphere of comfort in knowing their words mean something to the other.

10) Relationship Vision: It’s interesting the number of couples I’ve seen who don’t seem to have the big picture of their relationship in mind. Where do they see themselves in ten year? What are their relationship goals? Couples who have created a relationship vision for themselves know where they’re going as they’ve planned it together. They get joy out of reaching for their goals as a team and are less likely to be derailed by surprises down the line.

Chetan Bhagat’s Speech at Symbiosis,Pune

I jus loved this speech and so I am just posting this wonderful delivery! :)

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.

Disappointment' s cousin is Frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is Isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.

Thank You.

Chetan Bhagat

A rendezvous....

...with Kids.

This Sunday happened to be a really jolly day. Spending time with kids always gives us sheer happiness taking us back to our own sweet childhood days. So was this Sunday for me. We got an opportunity to take some kids of a tamil medium govt school in a village called Kovur, a 38 of them, out for an educational trip (it turned out to be a full fun-trip for them, for all of us actually!). Thanks to Divya for the amazing opportunity. Divya teaches for 17 of those kids (of diff age groups) every Saturday. Teach India is an organization moderated by Times of India. She’s registered with the organization and Kovur was allocated for her. MACT is the NGO responsible for that village that takes care of all the needs of those kids. Divya had planned to take them to the Planetarium and made arrangements with the help of this organization MACT. They helped arrange the van and the snacks for the kids. Thanks to Aish n Nachi for inviting me to be a part of it. At 1 in the afternoon I joined the group in the van at Nandambakam to be greeted by those kids with smiling faces. They started screaming ‘good morning ma’am’ n ‘ hi ma’am ’in excitement. Ha ha I was excited too! Got introduced to them and learnt a few names of the mischievous lot. We picked up Sowmya on the way and reached Planetarium by 2. Got the tickets for the 3.45 show there and took the kids to the sci-park there. They were all so excited and played happily. We were absolutely elated in turn, watching them play around happily! We watched a 10 minute 3D video then which made me scream along with the kids esp when the serpent came towards me! God, that was really frightening. At 3.45, the show began. The ambience of that place and the projector at the centre of the room and the hemispherical screen everything made them excited all over again. They were fascinated and were attentive for almost 10 minutes when the basics about the solar system and the planets were stated. Later they couldn’t understand much of what was being said and almost every1 of us felt sleepy!;)

It was almost 5 by the time the show got over and we distributed them their snacks and chocolates, so it was decided to take them back to their place. But the kids insisted on staying and visiting the children’s park or some other place. There wasn’t much time left so we just took them to the Gandhi mandapam that was nearby and clicked pics with them there. The fall of dusk reminded us that it was time to bid goodbye to them. End of the day there was a genuine smile on everybody’s face and you know what magical impact any kid’s smile can bestow on us. Though minding the children and heeding to their needs seemed to be a strenuous exercise but then it was all fun and the contentment and gratification we felt end of the day is just indescribable! And thanks to those amazing kids for they just made my day!:)

Signing off,
Happy Me:)

Template change!

I've just changed the template of this blog. Just for a change!:)
So how do you like it?
Vote for or against this! We'll go back to the previous 1 if many of you don't like this look!